Daily Journal: 4 July

We Talk to Restore

When we care about a relationship, we want to fix what’s broken; we want to keep wiping away marks so that they don’t stain, and repair any tears. But it’s not always straight-forward.

What we see is not always what another person sees. Perhaps expecting something of another person isn’t practical, or even right, and we need to accept a different reality without offense.

Our own expectations need to be addressed before we address an issue with another. We need to check in with our own heart first. Then, we may need to acknowledge that the other person may not have intentionally wronged us. In which case, is our blame misplaced? Perhaps our expectations aren’t appropriate for the person or the situation.

Once we’ve dealt with ourselves, then it’s appropriate to address things with another.

The bible says God has made restoration and He also gives us that ‘ministry’. Part of why we need to restore relationships with others is to acknowledge what Christ has done for us.

2 Corinthians 5:18 (GWT)

God has done all this. He has restored our relationship with him through Christ, and has given us this ministry of restoring relationships.

Restoration is the purpose we talk, whether we’re the ones with the issue or not.

If somebody brings an offense to us, we need to be prepared to give them time and attention, caring for their heart, as for our own, loving them as we love ourselves, and meeting them where they’re at, not only for their sake, but for our own, and for the sake of Christ’s ministry to us.

1 Corinthians 1:10 (MSG)

I have a serious concern to bring up with you, my friends, using the authority of Jesus, our Master. I’ll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.

It’s not about making a point or shaming another because we feel angry or justified.

Job 18:4 (GWT)

Why do you rip yourself apart in anger? Should the earth be abandoned for your sake or a boulder be dislodged?

Nor is it about being ‘gracious’ to another in a false sense of humility.

When we are receiving from God’s love for us first, and we can acknowledge that He’s always been there for us, even when others let us down or have certain expectations of us we can’t fulfil, we can learn to put aside the needs that we have, and understand another’s perspective, forgiving where necessary.

Philippians 2:1-2 (GNT)

Your life in Christ makes you strong, and his love comforts you. You have fellowship with the Spirit, and you have kindness and compassion for one another. I urge you, then, to make me completely happy by having the same thoughts, sharing the same love, and being one in soul and mind.

This all takes a lot of intentionality. But when we come together because of what Christ has done for us, anything is possible.

I pray that we'll remember, in every conversation, we talk to restore, not to blame or shame, and that Christ's ministry of reconciliation will be alive and at work in us.