It's All About Relationship

We can’t walk through life without being hurt or hurting others; without causing misunderstandings or being misunderstood; without thinking more of ourselves than we ought and less of others than we should.

Relationship is all about nurturing and forgiveness. We could say, relationship is all about nurturing forgiveness.

The ability to forgive doesn’t always come easily. To heal from wounds we need to forgive, but my experience is that I can’t forgive on my own. In those relationships that have been truly damaging, I need to forgive in the presence of God, basically because He says I need to. Why do I need to? Ultimately, because Christ forgave me in the most extreme way. Since I’ve decided to receive His forgiveness, I must extend the same grace and forgiveness to others.

But it goes even deeper than that.

It’s all about relationship. It’s about restoring relationship and being at peace with others. It’s about finding restoration and peace within our own heart through forgiveness. It comes from a position of extravagant love. We can’t extend that nurturing and that forgiveness unless we have first experienced it.

There may need to be changes in a relationship if another person is not repentant or doesn’t seek to restore the relationship in the same way. There may need to be increased boundaries. Healthy boundaries establish safety and wisdom in the way we walk ahead in relationship with others.

In any case, God wants our heart to be softened, not hardened; to be humble, not proud; to be gracious, not haughty.

Seeking Him for assistance with healthy boundaries, to forgive when it’s hard and re-establish bonds of connection, is important in order to move forward in relationship the way He desires we should.

2 Corinthians 2:10-11 (NCV)

If you forgive someone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if I had anything to forgive—I forgave it for you, as if Christ were with me. I did this so that Satan would not win anything from us, because we know very well what Satan’s plans are.

Paul, the writer here, discharged any offense to himself in the presence of Christ, under Christ’s command to forgive. He makes it clear that in all cases of offense, it is Satan’s agenda to break bonds of affection and unity between people. If we know that, we are careful to make sure we don’t side with Satan’s plans to disrupt and cut off relationship but to reunite wherever possible.

Romans 12:18 (NIV)

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Does this mean that all relationships will be full and rich and complete all the time? No, because relationships don’t happen in equal measure. People don’t always seek after the same thing in a relationship. One person might love the other more and desire resolve while another desires distance. One person might be willing to lay offenses down more than the other. One person might not be repentant about damage caused while the other needs justice and healing.

There is often friction in relationship but this comes from within.

James 4:1 (NIV)

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?

Satan will use that battle within to destroy relationships. Relationship in the presence of Christ, nurtures. To nurture forgiveness means that my heart carries a cushion of grace towards another, despite differences of perception.

Relationship with others is central to nearness with God.

Matthew 5:21-26 speaks clearly to the issue of carrying offense, pride and pursuing reconciliation. It makes no allowances for anything other than getting my heart right and attempting to restore relationship in truth and grace. That means getting my own heart right, and leaving the heart of another to God.

The heart to nurture and to forgive establishes my ability to live with peace in my heart and peace in my relationships.